O’Reilly hires Kilgrave PR

NEW YORK CITY — Bill O’Reilly has been fired. This comes after recent revelations of sexual harassment settlements (totaling $13 million) led to the loss of over 50 advertisers to his show “The O’Reilly Factor.”

Now, O’Reilly is firing back. The former prime-time news anchor has hired public relations expert Zebediah Kilgrave.

“Kilgrave is an incredible PR guy,” says the Daredevil of Hells Kitchen. “Not too long ago everyone knew who I was. Now…do you?”

[Reporter shakes his head]

“Exactly,” Daredevil continued. “By this time tomorrow no one will even know what sexual harassment is.”

Kilgrave is expected to meet with each O’Reilly accuser this evening. A meeting with representatives from 21st Century Fox and the Murdoch family is scheduled for tomorrow morning, followed immediately by a public press conference.

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