Jon Kent arrested for cow tipping

HAMILTON COUNTY — A wild night out on the farm ends in the arrest of Jon Kent, 10, son of new residents Clark and Lois Kent.

Patrolman Frank Mitchell arrested Kent for trespassing and destruction of property after he was caught cow tipping on the Johnson farm.

The Kent’s recently moved to Hamilton County from Metropolis.

“These city folk think they can do whatever they want,” said an angry Merle Johnson. “Something’s off with that boy and his family. When they first got here, their mailbox said Smith. Now it’s Kent. Who are these people?”

Patrolman Mitchell was not available for comment and was immediately put on leave after he reportedly told Sheriff John Rock he found Kent with a cow lifted above his head.

“Let me set the record straight,” said Rock. “This is about a boy who committed an illegal act and must pay for it. Nothing else.”

A source close to the investigation claimed Kent told a bizarre story while in custody. He claimed Damian Wayne, son of billionaire Bruce Wayne of Gotham City, was actually the cow tipper and he was just trying to save the cows.

Kent was released to his parents early this morning and is expected in court on Monday.

“It’s a sad story,” said Rock. “But the kid’s got to learn. You can’t break the law and lie. Next thing you know he’ll claim he can shoot laser beams from his eyes. It’s not a way to get through life.”

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